Where we speak....

Finely.

2007-05-26T17:51:47Z

So, we couldn't get into the lj, for some reason every time we tired it wouldn't let us. We might be making another one.. something that is easier to spell for Gina and something that we don't forget and have to look it up every time we log in.

But yeah finely.

Remus: History lessions.

2007-05-08T13:21:42Z

I'm learning that I need to learn from past mistakes. You would think someone like me would know what it's like to lose a lover. Yet, I'm sitting here beside Vic watching him die, watching him being taken away from his family and friends and I know that I can't handle it. I snapped at Rupert when he came in, he was trying to get me to eat something. We ended up having a long talk, about what he's feeling about how I seem to be drafting away from the Pack, from my mates, family, and friends. From everything that I'm letting myself die along side Vic.

Yes, I was making plans to go find a vampire, to go in fur form and bite him myself, or just try any kinds of magic light or dark. That would of been unfair to him, that would of been stealing his chance at peace. Yes, I know he needs it, I know he needs a long rest. I'm just not sure how to handle it all. I finely cried last night, I finely let myself melt into Rupert. He stayed the night with me. We both sat and watched Vic sleep.

He's going home tomorrow, he'll pretend like there's nothing wrong, because he doesn't want to upset them. He doesn't want to see them sad nor does he want them to remember him like this, sick in a bed. But I'll be going back and forth, I'll be checking on him, loving him. Rupert tried to heal him a little last night. I think it gave him back some of his coloring but his touch can not heal the illness that has taken hold of Vic's body.

When it finely happens and he's at peace, I'll go to Debbie and Michael, I'll tell them all the funny stories. How he took over the hotel kitchen from Gina, how he laughed when I ate to much chocolate far to close to the moon. I'll tell them how much I loved their brother and Uncle, I'll tell them that they aren't alone in their sadness. But right now I think I'll get some rest. Hank is over him and I need to sleep in Rupert's arms.

Zane: Random thoughts.

2007-05-08T01:20:51Z

First: O'kay I'm a mouse, dog and a duck, go post your own and play with it.

Second: My new hair color going to be hot pink, right now I'm walking around with white hair. I looked into the mirror after I did it. So I look a little bit like Spike, but he's got a better jaw line then I do.

Third: Walka's friends are really nice. I like them, Gina used to watch their 'show'. She used to think (might still do) that Blair is/was hot. I can see why. Jim really cool too, I want to learn more about him. I want to learn more about everyone.

Fourth: I love Walka.

5th: I need to learn how to count.

Make that 6th and 7th as well.
(8th: I can't stop thinking about him.)

Oh, and Ninth: Hot pink. Yes. yay.

Tenth: It's hot here and I think I'm the only person who likes it. Well, besides the vampires.

-Z.

So...

2007-03-22T13:34:01Z

This lj group, place. I don't know what to call it. You can go there and met other people from what ever 'cannon'/fandom/book/movie' you are from. I want to join. Because, well, I guess I just want to see what other people have found here. I mean.. I know there alot of us here. But I want to talk to other mes.

Maybe even find my dad or mum? I know it's scary, and they wont be the same like from where I am from. But it might be just nice to talk to people.. Yeah, there are other people here too, like Asher and the others who would really enjoy find others....<strike>I'm useing the word but to offend. It must be the lack of sex. Draco.Sex.Now.</strike>

Here the link to it: http://community.livejournal.com/findingverse/profile

I saw that there is already a Remus posted..

Yeah, Mom, I thought of you when I saw that.

-Harry.

knowedgeofages @ 2006-08-01T07:53:00

2006-08-01T15:00:03Z

HAPPY BRITHDAY HARRY!!
(Even if this is a day late)

knowedgeofages @ 2006-02-09T18:31:00

2006-02-10T02:29:40Z

harry's seven of seven

2006-01-29T18:37:59Z

1) Seven things to do before I die:

Watch my children be happy and safe in their adulthood.
Make Draco wear pink.
Have all my memories restored.
Make Ron Weasley wear Slyhterin Green.
See that Hermione gets a libary named after her.
Watch all my Slytherin lovers root for Gryffindor.
Remove the last of the Deatheater treat out there.

2) Seven things I cannot do:

Allow the Dark lord come back to life.
Walk away from those I love. (Again.)
Give up on Draco.
Hurt my family.
Ingore the danger that is still out there.
Tell Ron to fuck off.
Tell Hermione she doesn't know everything. (Because fucking hell she does.)

3. Seven things I do ritualistically everyday:

Teach classes.
Make love to Draco and/or Pasny.
Watch my children grow.
Worry about new dark lords.
Worry about the wizarding world.
Fear the new Weasley twins.
Be thankful for each new day and all my love ones.

4. Seven things I say most often:

"Now Draco, be nice to the muggle."
Fucking Merlin.
"KRISTINLILIANPOTTERMALFOY!"
No, Buffy honestily I don't know where Alex learned that spell.
No comment.
I love you.
Er...

5. Seven books I love:

Harry Potter(Yes, I like reading what she writes then whineing about it.)
quidditch books
The Monster book of Monsters (What I still have mine.)
Beauty and the Beast
101 ways to catch the golden Snich.(Adult joke book.)
Dracual
Lord of the rings

6. Seven movies I watch over and over again (or would if I had the time):

. Spiderman 1
Spiderman 2
Xmen
Sceret Graden
Dracual dead and loving it.
Harry Potter (Yes yes, I am a little to sure of myself but th same reason as the books)
Beauty and the beast

7. Seven people I hope do this meme as well.
Anyone who wants too.

seven of seven.

2006-01-19T14:28:32Z

Just to amuse the dear Duchess, I shall do this.

1) Seven things to do before I die:
1.Be in skin and bone and make love to flower.
2. Take over the world, only to give it because she says so.
3. Remember everything that was.
4. Find away to make other demons fall.
5.Enjoy a hot bath, but this time not blood.
6. Forgive my brothers.
7. Have flower write my story.

2) Seven things I cannot do:
1. Walk away from her, no matter how many times she tells me too.
2. Forget what I am.
3. Kill someone I love.(again.)
4. Tear the world apart.
5. Allow myself to go back to my old ways.
6. Kill Arthur agian.
7. Give my true name out to anyone.

3. Seven things I do ritualistically everyday:
1. Protect.
2. Hunt. Little ick of things.
3. Play the part of the fool to lighten things up.
4. Fight of my life.
5. Give orders.
6 Plot.
7. Fight my inner demons and other demons for that matter.

4. Seven things I say most often:
1. Flower.
2. When I take over the world...
3. *Place words in demon here*
4. Hush, Gina (flower)
5. I didn't do it!
6. AOh, so you think you are big and mean?
7.Damn you Merlin.

5. Seven books I love:
1. 7 books of lost faith.
2. Blood oaths and deadily packs.
3. Dracula
4. Harry Potter.
5. Anything of magics (any color)
6. Any books with Demons
7. Books about the 7.

6. Seven movies I watch over and over again (or would if I had the time):
1. Harry Potter
2.Dracula
3 Grase
4. Any king arthur movie
5. Any horror movie
6. Any were wolf movie
7. Buffy the Vampire Slayer

7. Seven people I hope do this meme as well.

Who ever wants to do it. Do it.

Harry will be doing this a little later.

Come a little closer.

2005-10-20T12:57:05Z

The night is fading into the wee hours of the morning, the newest form of music is playing softly in my ears and some how I am sitting here feeling as if I have been lost for some time. Perhaps just a voice waiting to be heard. How many times in my life have I waited in the shadows? It dose not matter, last night I was over joyed to be able to express myself with Narcissus. It felt like the word was falling around us until it was just us. For this I must thank you Tybs, he speaks so nicely to you. There seems to be alot I must thank you for, as you were the one who made this all happen.

Perhaps I should intreduce myself, my name is Asher. I am a vampire.

Ah we have another one..

This is my post, Johnathin, perhaps...

Ah, forgive me, Asher.

I'll finish the interductions at another time, for now I will seek some better music so that I can write and listen to what I crave as well. I have meet the other people here, well, are they people? Johnathin a fallin demon? My Narcisssus would enjoy him I think, a boy with glasses almost bigger then his face. (And there is more the one of him.) A woman whoes name reminds me only what I read in a book, Mina.. She is mystery, she dose not speak much to me or the others. Erasmus whispers sometime, I do not know if he understands that he can come across.

Oh! Oui, there are other vampires here, diffent from each other as night is from day. For now, Mes amis, I must teach them french and depart. I shall write more when it is time.

Au revoir.

-Asher.

To Papa and Tom.

2005-10-12T15:10:03Z

http://artpad.art.com/?io95zj11hee8

-Draco.(younger!Draco)

The Torture of Teaching at Hogwarts

2005-10-07T05:42:45Z

Well lessons have started and it seems I have five replicas of Fred and George. Thats five individuals not five pairs. Thank the Goddess. This afternoon before my lesson with my third years began I took a moment to rest in my chair, much to my dismay there was an magically enhanced version of a whoopie cushion in my seat. Not only did it make a horrid sound which my class found terribly amusing, but also it was covered in some hideous slime that would not clean off either my robes or my chair.

Aside from that however my first month into Term has been surprisingly uneventful. My old potions master has returned to school though unfortunately not to teach as of yet. Next term if he has not recovered from his recent venture there will be a particularly unique individual assigned to the position. As of right now each professor is taking turns teaching lessons for the potions classes.

My Beloved and I have just recently returned from a trip to visit our mothers in Los Angeles. Far too much happened there for me to write in just one post. All in all however it was quite an adventure. As all visits with our mothers tends to be. It was good seeing Buffy and the slayers again. I still don't think Detective Knight likes me much. I think Jeanette would rather make me lunch that make me a part of her family. I know LaCroix would rather have nothing to do with me, but then again hes always been rather stiff around me. Even back in Camelot, he rarely spoke to me if at all.

For the most part I believe these random and adventuresome visits we all need from time to time and while we all miss one another a great deal, we all have our separate paths. Each of them as vital as the roles we played in the past.

Well I have found myself stuck with wanting to say more but not knowing what to say.
And there is Harry.

Blessings to all.

~Lord Draco Malfoy

Harry's poem

2005-09-26T09:11:03Z

I've locked myself.
Up tight.
Doors need to be broken down.

Like a shadow I linger.
I've seen there is nothing.
I have to fight to the end.

There is a dream.
There is a nightmare.
How can they be so much the same?

When the women cry, is it for me?
Mothers lost sons.
Wives' husbans.

But is it for me?
Just a tool.
A reason to break the rule.

I've seen him look at me.
Hate, how it drips.

I've locked up tight.
To be honest I can't free myself.

Harry.. Harry.. Harry

They all whisper.
Do they hear my plea?
Wraped up in a cloak.
I don't want to be seen.

I see her honesty.
I can almost reach out and touch.
This hell is all to much.

Remember me?
Little boy blue.
Lost his horn,
dosen't know what to do.

Is it you that will hear me?

Unnoticeable.

2005-08-25T01:50:37Z

The oddest thing about coming out into the open after years of sleeping is knowing that everything has changed from the last time you have woken. This is diffent the one thing that breaks me everytime. I sleep so deeply because I know the moment I wake so does he. This time I wake with in another's body, but it's my body as well. The feeling of my heart beating loud in my ears the need to feed burning through out me. I have not and will not for I know that a human's body could not handle the feeling. Tis even odder waking up while the person you know as yourself is sitting a desk with something ringing very loudly. Yes, it scared me. ME! The one who has been fighting for so long, how my prince would laugh if he knew all it took was a ringing box to get a start out of me. The sun was pooring in from the windows. Yes, when I was younger I could take the sun. I enjoyed feeling wash over my skin. Now, I fear that it just a discomfort. So the sun was not a blessing to see. It didn't harm me, perhaps it was then I noticed the heart beat.

I don't know what to make of this, perhaps I should just allow myself to wake up slowly. I do wonder if he is out there some where looking for me. It was times before that he'd always end up at my door. We'd fight. Mate. Love. And saddly hate. It's the way we are, I do miss him , however I miss my husband now perhaps a bit more. It was her music and her little goings on about dark men falling in love with innocent women . I was innocent when I frist meet him, I had hardly even kissed my husband to be. It was my Prince's touch that woke me up. I wonder if I knew what I do now would I had gone with him instead? I do not know only that I now am missing both my loves dearly.

This is why I take up my old pratice of writing in journal even if this one is a shaired one. I do hope that I can get along with everyone here. There are old friends in the faces and souls of the people here, my Lucy is here. Well, she is at work. Sweet sister it's good to have you near me. I shall not allow him to harm you agian. Thus as well my hunt for him starts agian. It's a cooling in my blood then a heat that takes me into his arms that starts it all. Perhaps this one we can finish it either way.

The reason why I call this Unnoticeable, it's the way I feel. Perhaps I am acheing for my old friends and him.

-Madam Mina.

Yesterday was Harry's brithday.

2005-08-01T14:14:45Z

I went out with the duchess, my godmother and she got me a movie! It was really cool. Even if a younger vision of me picked it out. I was really happy to have a day all to myself with her. It was a good day.

-H.P.
-----------

Yesterday I was going to be sending time with my husband, he was just going to take me to a show, an opra(sp?) and we were going to spend time with out the little ones. I love my children but I needed some time away and time with Draco. He seemed very happy that I said yes, well we were sitting in box five! I was over joyed. Because in the play I love best that box is the one that is imporant. Well, we watched the play and in the middle something happened. They started singing Think of me! This is not what the play was. In fact I don't even remember what the play was. Even better was the fact everyone started to think of it.. Then Draco sang one part, 'We never said our love was ever green....' I love that song but after that one part he got down on one knee! He asked me to remarry him. I was so over joyed I think I cried my eyes out.

Draco had bought out the whole house. It was our friends and family down below and in other boxes. I was never so happy. I asked him last time, so he got to wear the Potter name with all the rights. I do add Malfoy to my name but in wizarding laws its not there because I was the 'groom.' Dear gods I am so bloody happy. After the play we all went to the Weasleys, I think Molly had to spell the house bigger. I think I cried to many times. I think our oldest will be flower girl.

It was a good day.

H.J.P.(Soon to be.) M.

A poem by my flower for me.

2005-07-24T08:29:35Z

Jay.

In my dreams I see him coming,
A knight to save me.
His eyes so cold.
He's bleeding on the inside.

But a hero is a hero,
he's all I got.
Freedom kissies hell.
A Daisy.
A Rose.

Could you give it your all?
Could you touch the sky,
or do you want to fall.

In my dreams I see the demon.
Whispering he tries to save
his soul. But it's already gone.

Fighting with himself
he rises his sword.
Could he be the villian?
Or is he the knight I see.

In my dreams I welcome him home.
In my dreams I am his.
Freedom isn't for me.

Locked away in towers,
no hair for prince's.
Locked away in dreams,
Seer do not see.

In my dreams I can not be.
In my dreams visions come true.
Can you feel it?
It's coming close.

A star shines.
Its to bright.
Burning the night.

Kingdoms have fallen.
Madin's blood bleeds.
The knight with cold eyes.

In my dreams I walk upon the sand.
In my dreams I am home.
It's a land of magic for me.
In a heart beat I kneel before
my Goddess' feet. (Hear me.)

I worship to love.
Pray to live.
A Dasiy.
A Rose.

Demon or knight, I can not know.
In my dreams I feel desire.
In my dreams I burn hottly.
A wanton slave to his love.

Can he see the answer?
His words stolen.
Demon Knight.
Come to me.

In my dreams...
In my dreams...
I welcome you.
Goddess, Mother, Knight, Demon.

Here then I sleep,
to dream.
No longer wishing to wake.

Gina's dream.

2005-06-25T15:46:33Z

Flower is posting this here because she doesn't feel safe posting it in her journal. Be nice people. This is my flower..

At frist I was visiting this place where these priests were living, they were christien priests. I think I was with a friend whoes son was one of them. The son was very sweet and kind. Then another sat down. I asked them what they thought of pagan people, that was a bit intresting. The son just nodded the other talked wtih me. I felt safe when the other two people left to talk to that one about my visions. He went all odd on me telling me that I needed to mate with him. I screamed "No, I wont let her be born that way." Then I ran from the place, it wasn't a church, not sure what it was. I ended up flaging down this odd bus I got on and something felt odd, the holy man person was still coming after me. We went though this tunel thing and ended up in this land that I know I've seen before. I got off and started having memories of being there as a child. Then I started speaking in one of the old tongues, maybe it was Demon. I don't know. All the time I was suppose to be saving them from something. I think the priest brought me there for a reason. It hurts and I feel empty. I don't know what to do. I know I was speaking in my sleep calling out in the tongue but the boy heard nothing and he was sleeping beside me.

I was being given things:

There was a stone.
It was a tear drop, it felt powerfull.
It had green string on it..

Dark brown on the top then it got lighter until it ended with a frostest green around the tip on the tip it was black. It was a bit smooth to the touch. It felt havy it was a large price. The next thing I was givien was a red hood.

There was a black cloak and I think I was going to have a staff. So very odd.

I hate dreaming I really really do. I feel so tired now, but I fear going back to sleep. I don't know what to do. I want to wake the Duchess but she'd most likely be mad with me. I think I am going to rest and send off engery.

Be well.
G. aka The gate keeper.

Fathers.

2005-06-19T13:49:14Z

Okay, so I just figure out it's father's day in the states. Sometimes I get mixed up when and there where's of things. But this still stands. -Harry. ------------------- Today is father day, today my cousin will be getting up and making everything happen for my fat-head-pig-of-an-Uncle. I hate today for they love to remind me that I have no father. I've been thinking about this over and over. Every year from the moment I found out I was a wizard I've been setting a side a candle and something nice for James Potter, I do the same for Lily Evans Potter when its Mother's day. This year however I've been wondering what makes a father. All of us came up with this..Well, most of us. The some of the older wiser Harries(HEH! I am not sure that is how you'd put it, Harry-child. Be quite Jay). were laughing at us. Not in a bad way.. just thought it was cute I guess? Why do I become so odd when I am older? -Harry.

DNA: A male pass it on during sex. Thus making a child and making him a 'Father'. (Honestly anyone can do that..)
Care giver: A male takes care of the well being of a child, thus placing him in the role of 'Father'.
Protector: A male makes sure a child is safe, making a child feel like it is her/is 'Father'
Teacher: A male teaches the child how to live how to make sure it will be safe and knowedge it will need.
Caring: A male shows he cares and loves the child.
Giver: (Er, I don't see how this is diffent from Care Giver, but Draco..sighs) The person who gives and pays for a child's basic needs.

Honestly there are alot more then these, Potter's brain is not working. Most of us here didn't really have a good time with our fathers, perhaps that is one of the reasons why we were allt hinking about this. So here where I say who I think my father really lis, given the list above. The person I am feeling very close with, and it scares me because it feels like he might not be real, even though I can feel it in my heart...Bloody hell! I've been hanging around gryffindorks to offen. Oh, well. Lucius Malfoy of the Clan Slivermoon, today I wish you a Happy Father's day. Severus Snape today I wish you a Happy Father's day.

-Darco aka Demon boy. (*Snirks* Now you use the nick name? Eh? Quite Jay. )

Okay with me it's a little diffent and it was a bit harder, at least with Dray (Do not call me that.) over there. He can see who his father is. Or fathers. I am still a little scared of claiming someone. Though I came to rather odd answer. Yes, I say "Happy Father's day to Remus Lupin, James Potter, and Sirius Black." Thats the norm of it all. But there is someone else as well. He's saved my bum more times then I can count. He's taught me alot, even though sometimes I don't want to believe it. Happy father's day Professor Snape. *Shakes head* That felt werid but good.

-Harry.

Well, then father's you know who you are. Arthur, Angel, Remus.. And who the hell knows whom else. As I've been around for far to long. Happy Father's day, but also Happy brithday flower. Have fun with the Duchess you need it. OH, and lets hope you don't get to drunk, eh? Then agian drink as much as you want that will make things so much more fun for me. *Evil smirk.*

-Jay, The Demon. (What ever.)

The rest of us would like to wish the same to all of are father's. Rather they be brith fathers or men who changed our lives for the better. We might be around later as today Gina is going out for her brithday. We are hopeing that everything goes well. She's been rather pissy of late. I think we've been fronting to offen. If you need us, those of you that have the phone number go ahead and call. I am sure she'd love to hear from you..

Have a wonderful day.

Remus. J. Lupin.

My veiws. By Jay.

2005-06-11T14:19:30Z

1. How do you feel about the technology advancements of cloning people and animals?

I do wonder what will happen if those animals become mad and try to take over the world as that happens in each human story about cloning. I can see why anyone want to try it, the power to be a god is so sweet when you touch it. I would not want to be cloned. Then again I can make copies of myself, is that the same? I guess I feel that its good for the humans are learning.

2. If this technology became readily available to all, how do you think this will affect the future of our race?

Ah, well, its like a new changling or one like myself. They slipt themslves all up until they can't remember how to put the prices back together. If this became easily taken by every person on the plante. Must I point out that in almost scfi program there have been cloning wars? Soon people will be able to change DNA and engery readings making people strong and powerfull, just another little step down the road. I think the world would slipt into halves people who use it and people who do not and hate the others for doing it. But I am sure this isn't for a long time down the road.

3. If your much loved pet died and cloning was available, would you elect to have your pet cloned? What about family and friends?

Now, why do everyone think that death is the stopping point? Let me put it this way, with my flower each time she died I found her agian. Her soul floating around in the many worlds and plans. So I do not believe I would do this. I am not saying I would stop someone if they did.

4. Would your family have your consent to be cloned? Why or why not?

The same as the above. Though having two flowers? Ha! That would be intresting. Hm, Lilly, sorry Gina would kill me if I even thought about it.

5. If you had the authority to clone any person no longer alive, who would it be and why?

No, for I would find them agian if I needed to. Or know that it is not imporant to see them agian. Even if it does hurt.

1. At what age, if any, is it no longer appropriate for children to be naked in public (say, at a beach or wading pool)? Is your answer different for boys vs. girls?

About 3 or 4 such innocents is sweet, yes? There is no diffence between the sexies at those ages, yes, the parents will have to asnwer questions but such is the life.

2. At what age, if any, is it no longer appropriate for children to be naked in private (say, at home with their family)? Is your answer different for boys vs. girls?

Same as above, dearest..

3. At what age, if any, do you start to feel uncomfortable seeing (other people's) children naked? (*their* age, not your age)

To me it's merely skin on bones. But if you wish the the same.

4. At what age, if any, did you become aware of your own nudity? (i.e., at what age did you start to feel the need to have clothing on around other people)

Honestly to be truthfull, I do not care about my nudity, I'd go wondering around as nude as the day I was born human the frist time. But at the moment so few people can see me. So I wear things so not to mare their idea of what men should look like, why would I want to do that to the whole male race? Not everyone can stand up to my..well, you know. *Wink.*

5. Have you ever been naked in public as an adult (i.e., post-puberty)? What were (or what generally are, for those of you that barely manage to keep your clothes *on*) the circumstances?

Yes! Forgive me, but I have done this so many times. Clothing gets torn in a battle. I used to bath in a river not far from this one village. Hm, it was so much fun the water on my skin. And I did walk out of my rooms one time nearly nude, you should of seen the queen's face. It didn't help that her sister walk out after me. Poor Arthur had to hear about it for a very long time.

1. Something that is red:

My font. Blood.

2. Something that is shiny:

Speaker light..Ooh.. look it blinks!

3: Something that is ugly:

Hate.

4. Something that is made of wood:
A stake. The desk. Gunn's head... kidding!

5. Something that is sharp:

My wit. The stake. Angel's and Spike's fangs.

knowedgeofages @ 2005-06-11T06:37:00

2005-06-11T13:56:20Z

Dear whom ever is listening,
I've been thinking about all of these times about how it feels to be alone. I feel alone in the still of the night. I sit in my Uncle's house feeling the hate driping from his words, actions and swiming in those eyes. I can't stand him watching me. It's like he always doing it. Everyone is always doing it. Why do they hate me so much? I cried so much when I was younger trying to figure that out. I always thought it was because I did something very bad. Perhaps I was the reason my parents died. Was I being fussy in the car and my dad turned to look at me then boom it happened?

It turns out ever so rightly that I was the reason why my parents died, they died because they had to keep me safe, they died because some mad man wanted to kill me so that I would kill him. My hands already covered in blood, must I have his as well? I don't like all of this death, I want to give into the whispers in the lurking dark but I wont. For I know what color the blood is that will next spill, my own. Some of them think it's so easy my fight, some of them with their innocent eyes and smiles look at me to keep the safe when I am only a year or so in front of them in school.

Perhaps if I knew all of this was going to happen I'd never had enter the wizarding world. But I've never been one to allow others to hurt, well, anyone but myself. Even now I know that I am still doing it. Still making myself hurt, safe with in these walls of hogwarts with my friends but inches away from me I feel lonely in my heart. I ache, feeling like there is something missing. Sirius is gone, my fult for being so sure of myself. My pride did not soften my fall. I fear the next time I see Professor Lupin, I fear what the were-wolf will do. I can still remember him holding me back. If it was just a second faster I would of grabed him. I could of saved him as he was saving me.

I want my godfather, I want the life that I was suppose to be having right at this moment. I want Dumbeldore and Voldemort just to finely fuck maybe that would make things better. It's their war if you boil it all down. They are fight for the power that they both see and don't know they already have. I can feel my magic flare feel my whole being scream at night when the dreams come upon me. I want to write to Voldemort and tell him to screw off, but I love my owl a little to much for that.

Can I feel so empty when I am full of pain? I still have Sirius' knife, its hot in my hands. I've cut myself, once by mistake. Now, there are no more mistakes. I think Hermione might know, the way she looks at me. Her heart is broken that only make sit hurt more. Ron is scared to touch me, I keep whinceing when everyone does. The last person to hold me was Lupin. I almost want to go to him, like a child scared of a storm and beg him to hold me.

But why should he? I couldn't bear if I see him and he doesn't have the happiness in his eyes. They were so happy, the way they looked at each other. Sirius, I miss you. I love you. Please forgive me. Mum and Dad I am so sorry that I couldn't be stronger, please please, take care of Sirius, he'll be lonely. I don't know if there is a god or a goddess or many of t hem. My family always said God would never listen to a freak like me, but myabe my parents will.

I better go if I don't get sleep for tomorrow's classes it will only upset Hermione.

Forgive me,
Harry.

Neo's brithday.

2005-06-10T15:06:10Z

I wish I could go visit Neo and Trin today, today is Neo's brithday. *Small smile* Brithdays are so very imporant, at least in the wizarding world. The older you get the stronger you get. I never knew this when I was growing up. I see it now with my own children. But thats not the only reason why I want to see Neo, I want to wish him a wonderfull brithday. He's so good to us. It was nice talking to him even though there is so much more that needs to be said. Happy birthday Neo.

H.J.P.

Get things ready to bring things together.
Make Remus stop reading that bloody book about demons, why doesn't he just ask me? Bloody hell! (Aka hide all Giles books on demons)
Find out why vampires turn to dust.

Get Gina ready for the doctor, ha! She's finely going. Poor flower.

Remember not to kill random things, blah, no fun.Tell Mother what day it is today.
(x)

</ol>

Remark smart assly about her husband's hair.

</ol>

Remember to remart which I am mocking.

Remember such a person will be my father.

Tell Neo Happy day of his brith. (x)

</ol> Happy Birthday Neo!

There at least step ten is done.

Thats from all of us lurking around my flower. Well, thats that for the day until later.

Frist day.

2005-06-08T13:58:20Z

Alright so she gave us our own journal. Very very nice. We will be posting anything want here. Inculdeing her stories if we feel like it. Take this journal as you will. If you aren't nice we will block you, then I will hunt you down and have you..alright, so I can't do that. She wouldn't let me. Just be nice will you? Like I said anything we wish will go here. Poems, sweetness, pain, blood, oh, and angst. If you wish think of this as a character journal or if you know of it as a soul bond journal. We don't care. Well, I don't. If you gotten this link from her consider yourself lucky and well trusted. Well, she has to get off to work.

-Jay.

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